A gay couple from Denmark could adopt three children after two surrogacies gave birth almost at the same time. Bjarke Damm e Lars Hansen, both 44, previously tried to adopt a child before having their biological children.
“We only wanted a family life. I was so sad when I thought it would never happen. It was like losing a part of myself”, says Bjarke, since many agencies didn’t accept gay parents
Two close people offered themselves to become “substitute mothers” of the couple, one of them Pia, Bjarke’s sister, and a couple’s friend called Danielle McDavis. Both of them made the proposal of getting pregnant together.
The boys chose an egg donor from Porto Rico, through a clinic in Connecticut, and they collected 14 eggs, with each dad fertilizing artificially seven of them. The women traveled to America separately and Piaannounced her pregnancy via FaceTime, in June 2017. Three weeks later, Danniellefound out that she was pregnant on the third try and, two months later, they found out it was twins.
On January 29th, 2018, Pia gave birth to Anna, and two weeks later Dannielle gave birth to Lily and Nora. “We had so many laughs and I love to see them learning new things. I am very grateful to have experienced parenting. It would not be possible to have our family the way we wanted without Danielle and Pia. In addition to carrying our babies, each of them had to go through a three-month hormonal treatment before each transfer. Danielle did this several times and then gave birth to twins. We are very lucky to have these wonderful women in our lives and we will always be wondering how to say thanks “, said Lars.
Even though the babies went home with Bjarke and Lars when they were out of the hospital, they both tookthree years to adopt legally, something that happened on December 2nd, 2020.
“I took three years to become a legal father to all of my children” – said Lars – “and six months fighting to have my paternity-license. The problem is that there aren’t many studies about families like ours. We give love and we welcome, we listen and we answer to our little ones. We give them everything they need” – said.
Despite the challenges, the couple says thanks and says that they are happy to adopt legally their own children. “It looks like the best Christmas present ever. It is so good to be a complete family and so important to be legally recognized as the parents of all three of our beautiful girls. There were so many obstacles, but we took it one step at a time. Now, with love, respect and a lot of uncertainty, we did it. I think we are the first gay couple in Denmark to become the legal parents of all our biological children. They are just amazing. They all sleep together in one room, but we haven’t slept much yet. “, ended Bjarke.