{"id":115511,"date":"2021-03-04T14:51:27","date_gmt":"2021-03-04T17:51:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gay.blog.br\/?p=115511"},"modified":"2021-03-16T22:22:10","modified_gmt":"2021-03-17T01:22:10","slug":"he-is-a-versatile-gay-man-but-he-can-die-if-he-is-a-bottom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gay.blog.br\/en\/health\/he-is-a-versatile-gay-man-but-he-can-die-if-he-is-a-bottom\/","title":{"rendered":"He is a versatile gay man, but he can die if he is a bottom"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gay English writer Chris Moore<\/strong>, author of Gut Feelings<\/em> and Fall Out<\/em>, told Pink News<\/a> about the rare disease that prevents him from experiencing anal sex<\/a>, an act that could cause his death. Read his report in full.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Chris Moore\/ Reproduction<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

***<\/p>\n

I was about 11 years old when I started to develop feelings for boys. I remember going to football games that I hated and trying not to stare when the players took off their shirts.<\/em><\/p>\n

There was a fascination and desire that I was unable to rationalize. A few months later, I was sitting in an office, being told I had a chronic illness.<\/em><\/p>\n

It took me a long time to find out what it was and years to find out what it meant to me as a gay man.<\/em><\/p>\n

I live with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP). Small wart-like lumps grow on the colon and lining of the rectum.<\/em><\/p>\n

When they did the colonoscopy, they told me that I would need to remove my colon and, at the age of 13, they removed it.<\/em><\/p>\n

They started removing the lining of my rectum when I was 17 and I was wondering what it meant to me. I was not \u201cout\u201d. I spent many years between surgeries trying to understand what it meant to be gay and accept it.<\/em><\/p>\n

I remember talking to my mother and being referred to the stoma nurse, who told me that if I were gay, I would never be able to hit rock bottom when it came to anal sex. If I did, I would bleed and possibly die, as this would dislodge the stitches that attach the small intestine to what is left of the rectum.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was impressed in that office, sitting in a hard-backed chair. I really couldn\u2019t understand what that meant. I had never slept with a boy before, nor had I ever kissed one.<\/em><\/p>\n

The choice was taken from me, so I will never really know what my sexual preferences would be, but there is a strong part of me that believes that I would be versatile.<\/em><\/p>\n

I would have liked to experience all aspects of sex and sexuality, but my illness has complications. When I talked to guys about apps in the past, they asked me about my position and I was always honest about it, but talking about why I can only be a top is a subject that I have been bothering to discuss.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"
Reproduction<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Some guys see it as a challenge, as an opportunity to drop me down, which I find scary.<\/em><\/p>\n

The surgeries were not without scars and after my second surgery, I had a scar that extended from my navel to below my waist. The wound became infected and, when it healed, it formed a fascia (when the scar tissue heals over the skin).<\/em><\/p>\n

It wasn’t easy to look in the mirror, much less lie down next to another guy. Even sleeping next to my boyfriend for a year, I didn’t like it when he touched me and if he came close to the scar, I would slap him in the hand.<\/em><\/p>\n

We dozed off together, but I woke up early in the morning, kind of groggy. My boxer looked heavy and when I pulled the covers off, I couldn\u2019t believe it. I had a leak and it was everywhere.<\/em><\/p>\n

There was no way to clean it, no way to make it better. It took me a while to wake him up, and when I did, I felt like a symptom. I felt like a disease that weighed on someone’s eyes.<\/em><\/p>\n

I cleaned myself up as best I could. I didn\u2019t speak to him – I couldn\u2019t speak to him. I returned home, praying that the taxi driver would not comment on the smell.<\/em><\/p>\n

I learned very young that I needed to listen to my body, to talk about my feelings.<\/em><\/p>\n

There are times when I feel deprived of sexual experiences, but I remind myself that I am alive and, for all limitations, I am worthy.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

.\u201cSome guys see it as a challenge, as an opportunity to drop me down, which I find scary\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3039,"featured_media":114251,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"googlesitekit_rrm_CAoiEBg-BXrJeACjO8p49SE4kTY:productID":"","tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"He is a versatile gay man, but he can die if he is a 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