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Paulo Freire says that when education is not liberating, the dream of the oppressed is to become the oppressor. I remember as if it were yesterday the time I went to the NYCC mall, located in a neighborhood called Barra da Tijuca, to meet a group of boys from mIRC. I was shocked by their effeminate ways and all their teasing using female pronouns.

I, who was raised in the city of Florianópolis, who took 20 years to recognize my own desires, couldn’t understand why boys, some of them really handsome, referred to themselves with female pronouns, let out high-pitched screams or wore makeup. I used to be pretty idiot, but never to the point of saying that prejudice only exists because of effeminate men, I never had any doubts that the prejudice against gay people comes from an historical male role of procreation and its reinforcement in the bible and in religions. However, I know that they are the ones who take the blame. When I told my mom about myself, the first question she asked me was if someday I would become “like that”, to which I firmly responded “never”. Ok, I was a bit of an idiot.

Everything gay people have today is owed to transsexuals and effeminate men. These ones, by having their sexual orientation being so explicit, always stood in the frontline of aggressions and equality fights. I will only believe in a decent country when a muscular or a skinny guy dances and shakes to Katy Perry and doesn’t become the target of jokes and funny looks. Our fight for diversity should never be diminished by the sexist idea that “straight people might get too shocked” or that “it discredits a gay person’s image”. We are not fighting to be a collective, our fight is for what we call diversity; that is, so that every human being can live with their own gender identity, with their own sexual orientation, with their own way of being and of dressing, with their own sexual behavior, without it all being sub judice of looks, jokes, comments and sexism.

- BKDR -

That day may never come, right? I believe that a part of society will always feel the need to belittle the other in order to feel important or better. This is Freud, psychology of the masses. In order for a group to exist, one needs someone outside of said group. Straight guys need gay guys in order to feel more manly; tops need bottoms in order to feel more masculine; heteronormative people need show off people in order to feel better; transitioned people need the non transitioned ones in order to feel more successful.

Let’s at least come together so no one else dies because of it? Let’s fight so this prejudice is reduced to the minimum. So that these poor people who still need to joke about and judge others in order to feel important at least feel ashamed.

For a drag show that jokes about guys who wear Osklen rather than about a show off guy from the Penha Circular neighborhood.

What makes a man or a woman is a social construct and we should know that our jokes, looks, judgments are part of that. As long as your ideal man is a straight one, a top, understand that you are putting yourself in a second-rate position in this relationship – and that is not the case.

“There are no convinced sexists, since, deep down, sexism is a lack of conviction”.

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Psicanalista, psicólogo, ativista e psicopedagogo. Defensor dos direitos da diversidade e responsável pela criminalização da LGBTIfobia